For Her Price is Above Rubies

Today is Mother's Day. My mother has been a mother for 20 years. And today is the first time I haven't been there to celebrate it with her. It's strange. I don't think I've ever needed her more than I do at this stage in my life, and now we're apart. But I don't want to dwell on being apart; I want to share my mom with you.

Mother means so many things. These are some of the words and phrases I associate with "mother".

Love- Mom always has a hug and smile, a tub of icecream, or a shoulder to cry on, regardless of how her day has gone. She loves when it is wonderful, and she loves when it hurts. She teaches me everyday what Christ-like love is, with the way she treats everyone from the grocery bagger to her sister.

Patience- Heaven knows I've tried mom and dad's patience more than once, and in many ways. But they have a lot of patience. A lot. They waited for 18 months for me to pull my head out of the sand and put my brain back in my head. Mom waited for me to smile, to play the piano, to learn to express myself and cope with the situation. She waited for me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Dad was there too, and taught me to be strong.But mom was the one who came after me when I took off in a blind rage. She was the one who sat up with me late as I cried. She referred me to dad, and he helped me work out some very important issues within myself.

Forgiveness- Mom has a stubborn streak a country mile wide, but she also has a soft heart, when she allows herself to. Mama always forgives me when I say something incredibly hurtful and acidic. She forgives me when I don't keep my word. She forgives when someone hurts her. She forgives all the insensitive, inconsiderate, selfish, self serving things I do. She is incredible.

Humor- Mama always tries to laugh about life. Even when the situation is patently un-funny, she finds some piece of ridiculousness to laugh about, and to fend off the tears and anger. She has a dry, sarcastic sense of humor, and can be completely irreverent. I love it! Every time I talk to her, I find myself laughing so hard I get teary-eyed.

Courage- Mom is an incredibly strong person. Even with all the things she deals with, personally and in the family, she gets up in the morning, and moves on. She loves even knowing she'll probably get hurt. She gets up and faces another day of rollercoaster emotions, another day of frustration and fatigue. She gets up and loves us when we aren't exactly loveable.

Kindness- Everyone comes before herself, in Mom's mind. She always criticizes herself, and never allows herself feel that she has done enough. When she hears of a need in the ward, she is one of the first in line to help. When a family in our ward lost their mother, she was at the door with food. She took food and company when one of her good friends had a hysterectomy, even though she was insanely busy with the drama in her life. When the ward lost several members in a three week time span, she consecrated her time and effort to serve the bereaved families. She spent all day helping with the setup, service, and cleanup.

Tenacity- Once mom gets an idea in her head, it is virtually impossible to shift her, unless she realizes it was not the best idea by herself. She is impossible to manipulate. I'm not sure if that's a personality trait, or a skill taught by many years of motherhood.

History- Mama knows what color my hair was when I was little, what my temper tantrums looked and sounded like, how long it took my to learn my letters, and what I looked like asleep when I was little. She knows things about me that I don't know about myself.

Mom is so many things to so many people. She is my father's wife, my uncle's sister, my grandparent's daughter. She is a sunday school teacher to the youth, the organist to the ward, the stubborn landowner to the farmers. She is a comic, a shoulder to cry on, and advisor and chef. She has too many hats to count, but today the hat we celebrate is the one called "Mother".

I love you, mama. If I turn out to be half the woman you are, I'll be pretty proud of myself. Thanks for everything.